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Obama Locks in Votes to Secure Iran Nuclear Deal

President Barack Obama locked in enough support in Congress to ensure he can overcome bipartisan opposition and implement a landmark nuclear accord with Iran. 481

Global Stocks Try to Regain Footing

U.S. stocks rebounded Wednesday but gave back their steepest gains, as worries over slowing growth overseas persisted.

Investors Betting on More ECB Stimulus

Six months after the European Central Bank launched its blockbuster bond-buying program to rouse the region’s economy, some investors are betting that authorities will crank stimulus efforts even higher.

Brooks to Lead News Corp’s U.K. Arm

News Corp said Rebekah Brooks will become CEO of its News UK arm, returning to the post she resigned in 2011 amid the phone-hacking scandal at now-defunct tabloid the News of the World.

Thousands of refugees and migrants surrounded Budapest’s main international railway station on Wednesday, where authorities are refusing to let them board trains to EU countries. Mark Kelly reports. Image: AFP

Thousands of refugees and migrants surrounded Budapest’s main international railway station on Wednesday, where authorities are refusing to let them board trains to EU countries. Mark Kelly reports. Image: AFP

Hungary Becomes a Flashpoint as Europe’s Migrant Crisis Escalates

Hungarian authorities struggled to keep control of the tide of migrants hoping to head to Germany, as a standoff ground on at Budapest’s central train station and the overwhelmed city said it would open a new site to receive the hundreds who have converged there. 51

Masked Gunmen Kidnap 18 Turkish Workers in Baghdad

Identities of gunmen in early-morning raid on sports stadium weren’t immediately known, as Turks in Iraq seized for a second time in the past year.

U.S. Tech Firms Make Pilgrimage to Brussels

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Huawei Rings in Changes to Challenge Samsung

For years, Samsung Electronics has been the world’s smartphone leader, but its global dominance appears to be increasingly under attack from fast-growing Chinese rival Huawei Technologies.

Volkswagen Extends CEO Martin Winterkorn’s Contract

German car maker Volkswagen said it would extend the contract of Chief Executive Martin Winterkorn through 2018, ending speculation that he could step down as CEO and become chairman.

Tesco Closer to $7 Billion South Korea Deal

U.K. retailer Tesco has chosen Asian private-equity firm MBK Partners as the preferred bidder to buy its South Korea retail operations in a deal that could be worth up to $7 billion.

Elves, Ninjas, Currency Power Lego Earnings

Lego said its 31% jump in first-half profit and 23% rise in revenue was fueled by strong sales of its Ninjago and Elves sets, but also by the weakness of the Danish krone and the euro.

EU Approves Shell’s Takeover of BG Group

Oil giant Royal Dutch Shell cleared a significant hurdle in its planned takeover of natural gas firm BG Group after Europe’s top antitrust regulator approved the deal unconditionally.

Malaysian Fund 1MDB Has Tens of Millions of Dollars Frozen

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China Imposes New Controls to Keep Money From Leaving Country

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Two Red Cross Workers Shot and Killed in Yemen

A gunman opened fire on cars marked with aid group’s insignia as they drove from northern Saada province to the capital, San’a.

The Iran Nuclear Deal Explained

Iran has reached a historic agreement with major world powers over its nuclear program. Here are the main points of the pact, and what supporters and critics are saying.

Police Say Main Bangkok Bombing Suspect Believed to Be Uighur

A senior Thai police investigator said for the first time that the main suspect in the deadly bombing at a Bangkok shrine last month is believed to be a member of China’s Uighur ethnic minority.

Greek Polls Suggest Tough Election Test for Tsipras

Opinion polls show declining support for Greece’s Syriza party and its leader, Alexis Tsipras. But Syriza retains a lead over its opponents and the Sept. 20 election could be tight.

EU Set to Extend Sanctions on Russians, Ukraine Rebels

The EU is set to roll over sanctions targeted against almost 200 Russian and Ukrainian-separatist individuals and firms to keep pressure on Moscow to fully implement the Minsk cease-fire terms by year end.

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Search Continues for Three Suspects After Illinois Policeman Killed

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U.S. Report Sees Economic Benefit in Allowing Oil Exports

Lifting the nation’s four-decade ban on oil exports wouldn’t raise gas prices and could help lower them, a government study concludes. 53

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Und Gott schuf einen Banker

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In den USA hat der Autobauer Chrysler einen PR-Coup gelandet. In einem Werbespot zu bester Sendezeit während des Football-Spektakels Superbowl pries der Konzern die Bauern Amerikas als Schöpfung Gottes. Unser Kolumnist dachte sich: Im nächsten Jahr könnte man das Prinzip ja auf die Banker anwenden. Hier ist sein Vorschlag:

Und am achten Tag schaute Gott herab auf sein geplantes Paradies und sagte: “Ich brauche jemanden, der das alles für schnelles Geld kaputt machen kann.”

Und Gott schuf einen Banker.

Gott sagte, “Ich brauche jemanden, der nichts anbaut oder schafft, aber der sich Geld für Null Prozent von der Allgemeinheit leiht und es dann für die Allgemeinheit für zwei, fünf oder zehn Prozent weiterverleiht und sich dafür einen Bonus zahlt.”

Und Gott schuf einen Banker.

Gott sagte, “Ich brauche jemanden, der das Geld von den Leuten nimmt, die arbeiten und sparen, und mit dem Geld eine Internet-Blase schafft, und eine Immobilienblase, und eine Aktienblase, und eine Ölblase und eine Rohstoffblase und eine Anleiheblase und noch eine Aktienblase, und das dann an die Leute in Poughkeepsie, Spokane und Buxtehude verkauft, und sich dafür einen weiteren Bonus zahlt.”

Und Gott schuf einen Banker.

Gott sagte, “Ich brauche jemanden, der im Sumpf oder in der Wüste Häuser mit lausigem Material und dem Geld anderer Leute baut, und dann diese Häuser als Sicherheiten für ein Schneeballsystem nutzt, das er an Rentner in Kalifornien, Deutschland und Japan verkaufen kann. Ich brauche jemanden, der dann diese Häuser zwangsversteigert, die Bewohner rausschmeißt, die Klimaanlage und das Wasser abschaltet und dann zusieht, wie das Haus wieder in sich zusammenfällt. Und sich dann dafür einen weiteren Bonus zahlt.”

Gott sagte, “Ich brauche jemanden, der Geld an Leute mit schlechter Bonität für 30 Prozent Zinsen verleiht, um seinen Aktienkurs nach oben zu kriegen, und dann, kurz bevor der Kredit platzt, seine Aktien verkauft und abhaut. Und der, wenn er später gefragt wird, mit Tränen in den Augen sagt, dass die Regierung ihn dazu genötigt habe.”

Gott sagte, “Und ich brauche jemanden, der zu jedem sagt, er solle auf eigenen Beinen stehen, aber dann zum Staat rennt, damit der ihn rettet, sobald er in Schwierigkeiten kommt – und der dann das Rettungsgeld dafür nutzt, dass ein Kongress gewählt wird, der lieber wegschaut. Und sich dann dafür einen weiteren Bonus zahlt.”

Und Gott schuf einen Banker.

Kommentar abgeben

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Kommentare (3 aus 3)

Alle Kommentare »
    • Nun ja, ich seh das bissel anders als es Anonymous schreibt, den der Kommentator hat doch den Nagel auf den Kopf getroffen, und alles was er sagt ist wahr !! Leider !! Man sollte doch mal drüber nachdenken, werd den die Finanzkriese verschuldet hat. Waren das die kleinen Sparer ? Meine ganz persönliche Meinung über Banker kann ich hier leider nicht wieder geben, dieser Kommentar würde sonst wohl gestrichen werden.

    • Ich fand es sehr passend. Aber wie kommt sowas in die Höhle des Löwen? :) Bewegen wir uns endlich?

    • Populistischer geht es wohl kaum. Schlimmer als die Bild!

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The Wall Street Journal & Breaking News, Business, Financial and Economic News, World News and Video
Search

Obama Locks in Votes to Secure Iran Nuclear Deal

President Barack Obama locked in enough support in Congress to ensure he can overcome bipartisan opposition and implement a landmark nuclear accord with Iran. 481

Global Stocks Try to Regain Footing

U.S. stocks rebounded Wednesday but gave back their steepest gains, as worries over slowing growth overseas persisted.

Investors Betting on More ECB Stimulus

Six months after the European Central Bank launched its blockbuster bond-buying program to rouse the region’s economy, some investors are betting that authorities will crank stimulus efforts even higher.

Brooks to Lead News Corp’s U.K. Arm

News Corp said Rebekah Brooks will become CEO of its News UK arm, returning to the post she resigned in 2011 amid the phone-hacking scandal at now-defunct tabloid the News of the World.

Thousands of refugees and migrants surrounded Budapest’s main international railway station on Wednesday, where authorities are refusing to let them board trains to EU countries. Mark Kelly reports. Image: AFP

Thousands of refugees and migrants surrounded Budapest’s main international railway station on Wednesday, where authorities are refusing to let them board trains to EU countries. Mark Kelly reports. Image: AFP

Hungary Becomes a Flashpoint as Europe’s Migrant Crisis Escalates

Hungarian authorities struggled to keep control of the tide of migrants hoping to head to Germany, as a standoff ground on at Budapest’s central train station and the overwhelmed city said it would open a new site to receive the hundreds who have converged there. 51

Masked Gunmen Kidnap 18 Turkish Workers in Baghdad

Identities of gunmen in early-morning raid on sports stadium weren’t immediately known, as Turks in Iraq seized for a second time in the past year.

U.S. Tech Firms Make Pilgrimage to Brussels

The giants of Silicon Valley are bulking up in the European Union’s de facto capital, hiring lobbyists and jostling for the favor of the Web’s most ambitious regulators.

Huawei Rings in Changes to Challenge Samsung

For years, Samsung Electronics has been the world’s smartphone leader, but its global dominance appears to be increasingly under attack from fast-growing Chinese rival Huawei Technologies.

Volkswagen Extends CEO Martin Winterkorn’s Contract

German car maker Volkswagen said it would extend the contract of Chief Executive Martin Winterkorn through 2018, ending speculation that he could step down as CEO and become chairman.

Tesco Closer to $7 Billion South Korea Deal

U.K. retailer Tesco has chosen Asian private-equity firm MBK Partners as the preferred bidder to buy its South Korea retail operations in a deal that could be worth up to $7 billion.

Elves, Ninjas, Currency Power Lego Earnings

Lego said its 31% jump in first-half profit and 23% rise in revenue was fueled by strong sales of its Ninjago and Elves sets, but also by the weakness of the Danish krone and the euro.

EU Approves Shell’s Takeover of BG Group

Oil giant Royal Dutch Shell cleared a significant hurdle in its planned takeover of natural gas firm BG Group after Europe’s top antitrust regulator approved the deal unconditionally.

Malaysian Fund 1MDB Has Tens of Millions of Dollars Frozen

Swiss authorities said they had frozen funds worth tens of millions of dollars linked to 1Malaysia Development Berhad as part of an investigation into alleged corruption.

The Moment When Humans Matter

A string of messy market openings in recent weeks has reinvigorated a debate about ‘Rule 48’ and the relative effectiveness of humans in the stock trade.

Heard on the Street

Small U.K. Banks Show Big Rivals How To Travel Light

Picture a life without the baggage of the past. In the U.K., smaller banks are showing established rivals how that could be.

China Imposes New Controls to Keep Money From Leaving Country

China is imposing fresh controls to prevent too much money from leaving the country, in an effort to keep funds at home.

Two Red Cross Workers Shot and Killed in Yemen

A gunman opened fire on cars marked with aid group’s insignia as they drove from northern Saada province to the capital, San’a.

The Iran Nuclear Deal Explained

Iran has reached a historic agreement with major world powers over its nuclear program. Here are the main points of the pact, and what supporters and critics are saying.

Police Say Main Bangkok Bombing Suspect Believed to Be Uighur

A senior Thai police investigator said for the first time that the main suspect in the deadly bombing at a Bangkok shrine last month is believed to be a member of China’s Uighur ethnic minority.

Greek Polls Suggest Tough Election Test for Tsipras

Opinion polls show declining support for Greece’s Syriza party and its leader, Alexis Tsipras. But Syriza retains a lead over its opponents and the Sept. 20 election could be tight.

EU Set to Extend Sanctions on Russians, Ukraine Rebels

The EU is set to roll over sanctions targeted against almost 200 Russian and Ukrainian-separatist individuals and firms to keep pressure on Moscow to fully implement the Minsk cease-fire terms by year end.

Bush Takes Gloves Off, Attacks Trump Directly

After weeks of enduring rival Donald Trump’s attacks, Jeb Bush released an Internet video aimed at trying to muscle his way back to the front of the pack and undermine the celebrity businessman’s fitness to be the GOP standard-bearer. 374

Emails Point to Large Role for Clinton Adviser Blumenthal

Longtime aide Sidney Blumenthal maintained an outsize role with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, despite being blocked from taking a job at the department. 167

Biden to Speak at Florida Events Amid 2016 Speculation

The vice president is expected to decide this month whether he will make a third bid for the White House.

Search Continues for Three Suspects After Illinois Policeman Killed

As a small northern Illinois community mourned a popular veteran police officer who was fatally shot while on duty, authorities scoured the area overnight in search of three men wanted in his slaying.

U.S. Report Sees Economic Benefit in Allowing Oil Exports

Lifting the nation’s four-decade ban on oil exports wouldn’t raise gas prices and could help lower them, a government study concludes. 53

Video

Hungarian Police Struggle to Control Migrants

2:02

The Iran Nuclear Deal Explained

3:34

Kentucky Clerk Defies Supreme Court on Gay Marriage

1:41