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EU Ministers Push for Action on Migrant Crisis

Germany, France and the U.K. pushed for a faster response in dealing with the continent’s migration crisis as Hungarian police detained a fifth person in connection with the deaths of 71 migrants found in a truck in Austria.

Striking Workers Block French Port

The labor dispute is preventing travelers from boarding ferries on both sides of the English Channel.

Abreast of the Market

Who Gains When Tumult Strikes?

Exchanges and market makers are getting a fresh look from portfolio managers seeking out investments likely to benefit from the large market swings.

Fed Appears to Hold Line on Rate Plan

Federal Reserve officials emerged from a week of head-spinning financial turbulence largely sticking to their plan to raise U.S. interest rates before the end of the year.

VW Is Told to Shed Suzuki Stake

An international court has ordered Volkswagen of Germany to sell its nearly 20% stake in Suzuki, allowing the Japanese auto maker to extricate itself from the tie-up after a four-year struggle.

The Outlook

U.S. Port Traffic Hinted at China Slowdown

Long before investors lost faith in the Chinese stock market, something seemed amiss at the ports of Long Beach and Los Angeles. The number of containers coming from China was up, but beginning in 2013, fewer were being sent in the other direction.

Eni Reports Natural Gas Discovery off Egypt

Eni SpA said it made a massive natural-gas discovery off the coast of Egypt in what the Italian oil-and-gas company is calling the largest ever find in the Mediterranean Sea.

Saudi-led Airstrike Kills 20 in Yemen

A Saudi-led air raid killed at least 20 workers at a factory in northern Yemen, a local official and a resident said, the latest carnage in the conflict between Yemeni rebels and forces allied with the country’s exiled president.

At Least 11 Die in Saudi Arabia Fire

A large fire at a residential compound of Saudi Arabia’s state-owned oil giant killed at least 11 people and injured more than 200, officials said. The cause of the fire was unknown.

Rice Condemns Pakistan-Based Militant Attacks in Afghanistan

U.S. national security adviser Susan Rice on Sunday told top civilian and military leaders in Islamabad that attacks in neighboring Afghanistan by Pakistan-based militants were “absolutely unacceptable,” according to a senior American official.

U.A.E. Takes Lead in Southern Yemen

U.A.E. forces prevented Houthi rebels in Yemen from overrunning the Yemeni port city of Aden, and now also reluctantly find themselves in the business of nation-building.

Egypt Rejects Criticism of Journalists’ Jail Sentences

Egypt’s foreign ministry rejected international criticism of a court’s decision to sentence a team of Al Jazeera journalists to three years in prison, summoning the British ambassador to Egypt for condemning the verdict.

China Places Cap on Local Government Debt

Chinese lawmakers have placed a $2.5 trillion cap on local government debt as Beijing looks for ways to address one of the major impediments to its economy.

Buying the Dips Doesn’t Work for Everyone

The old strategy of buying the dips may not work for everyone. In fact, for some people, it could be disastrous, writes Jason Zweig.

Ahead of the Tape

Insurers Could Use More Calamity

Low rates and a soft market have resulted in relatively lean times for Allstate and its insurer peers.

On the 10th anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, insurers are suffering from years of calm seas and low rates.

A Bentley, Secret Emails and a Credit-Card Antitrust Case. The Strange Life of Lawyer Keila Ravelo

When federal agents showed up at Keila Ravelo’s home three days before Christmas, they kicked off a chain of events that could send her to prison and scuttle the biggest antitrust settlement in U.S. history.

Suppliers Feel Pain as Coal Miners Struggle

As big coal miners struggle, their equipment suppliers—thousands of businesses sprinkled throughout Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Ohio and Kentucky—are scrambling to find new customers anywhere they can. 62

Ageas to Sell Hong Kong Life Insurance Business

Belgian insurance company Ageas said Sunday it will sell its Hong Kong Life insurance business to Chinese asset-management firm JD Capital for €1.23 billion.

Inmarsat Says Russian Proton Rocket Puts Satellite Into Orbit

Inmarsat declared the launch of a Russian Proton rocket carrying one of its satellites a success after the rocket delivered its cargo into its initial orbit position.

Rebekah Brooks to Return to News Corp

Rebekah Brooks is expected to head News Corp’s U.K. division, a position similar to one she resigned from amid the phone-hacking scandal. Separately, Britain’s Crown Prosecution Service is reviewing a police referral related to the hacking probe.

Hackers Are the New Wizards

Chuck Wendig’s “Zeroes” reminds us how interconnected we all are, with electronic links all the way down to our refrigerators and cars, all of them hackable.

World War II’s Greatest Escape

Allied prisoners broke out of a German camp using ladders inspired by medieval siege tools.

Stieg Larsson’s Heroine Lives Again

David Lagercrantz’s “The Girl in the Spider’s Web” revives Lisbeth Salander in fitting style.

The Real Roots of Russia’s Revolution

Before revolution was a ruinous war. What led Russia into the conflagration?

A Runaway Boy, a Theatrical Dynasty and a Cliffhanger

Brian Selznick’s ‘The Marvels’ is the latest in a loose trilogy including ‘Hugo’ and ‘Wonderstruck.’

Video

Body Count Rises in Migrant Effort to Reach Europe

1:38

Lebanese ‘Stink’ Protest Turns Toward Politicians

2:11

Buzz Aldrin Developing Plan to Colonize Mars

1:09

Style & Fashion

Phone Cases: The New It Fashion Accessory?

Over the past few years, the iPhone case has gone from pragmatic protector to style statement. One writer plays catch up.

Music

Foals’ ‘What Went Down’ Is a Visceral Confessional

Yannis Philippakis, the lead singer whose energetic stage presence and novelistic lyrics have made Foals one of British rock’s most compelling propositions, talks about the band’s fourth album.

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Und Gott schuf einen Banker

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In den USA hat der Autobauer Chrysler einen PR-Coup gelandet. In einem Werbespot zu bester Sendezeit während des Football-Spektakels Superbowl pries der Konzern die Bauern Amerikas als Schöpfung Gottes. Unser Kolumnist dachte sich: Im nächsten Jahr könnte man das Prinzip ja auf die Banker anwenden. Hier ist sein Vorschlag:

Und am achten Tag schaute Gott herab auf sein geplantes Paradies und sagte: “Ich brauche jemanden, der das alles für schnelles Geld kaputt machen kann.”

Und Gott schuf einen Banker.

Gott sagte, “Ich brauche jemanden, der nichts anbaut oder schafft, aber der sich Geld für Null Prozent von der Allgemeinheit leiht und es dann für die Allgemeinheit für zwei, fünf oder zehn Prozent weiterverleiht und sich dafür einen Bonus zahlt.”

Und Gott schuf einen Banker.

Gott sagte, “Ich brauche jemanden, der das Geld von den Leuten nimmt, die arbeiten und sparen, und mit dem Geld eine Internet-Blase schafft, und eine Immobilienblase, und eine Aktienblase, und eine Ölblase und eine Rohstoffblase und eine Anleiheblase und noch eine Aktienblase, und das dann an die Leute in Poughkeepsie, Spokane und Buxtehude verkauft, und sich dafür einen weiteren Bonus zahlt.”

Und Gott schuf einen Banker.

Gott sagte, “Ich brauche jemanden, der im Sumpf oder in der Wüste Häuser mit lausigem Material und dem Geld anderer Leute baut, und dann diese Häuser als Sicherheiten für ein Schneeballsystem nutzt, das er an Rentner in Kalifornien, Deutschland und Japan verkaufen kann. Ich brauche jemanden, der dann diese Häuser zwangsversteigert, die Bewohner rausschmeißt, die Klimaanlage und das Wasser abschaltet und dann zusieht, wie das Haus wieder in sich zusammenfällt. Und sich dann dafür einen weiteren Bonus zahlt.”

Gott sagte, “Ich brauche jemanden, der Geld an Leute mit schlechter Bonität für 30 Prozent Zinsen verleiht, um seinen Aktienkurs nach oben zu kriegen, und dann, kurz bevor der Kredit platzt, seine Aktien verkauft und abhaut. Und der, wenn er später gefragt wird, mit Tränen in den Augen sagt, dass die Regierung ihn dazu genötigt habe.”

Gott sagte, “Und ich brauche jemanden, der zu jedem sagt, er solle auf eigenen Beinen stehen, aber dann zum Staat rennt, damit der ihn rettet, sobald er in Schwierigkeiten kommt – und der dann das Rettungsgeld dafür nutzt, dass ein Kongress gewählt wird, der lieber wegschaut. Und sich dann dafür einen weiteren Bonus zahlt.”

Und Gott schuf einen Banker.

Kommentar abgeben

Wir begrüßen gut durchdachte Kommentare von Lesern. Bitte beachten Sie unsere Richtlinien.

Kommentare (3 aus 3)

Alle Kommentare »
    • Nun ja, ich seh das bissel anders als es Anonymous schreibt, den der Kommentator hat doch den Nagel auf den Kopf getroffen, und alles was er sagt ist wahr !! Leider !! Man sollte doch mal drüber nachdenken, werd den die Finanzkriese verschuldet hat. Waren das die kleinen Sparer ? Meine ganz persönliche Meinung über Banker kann ich hier leider nicht wieder geben, dieser Kommentar würde sonst wohl gestrichen werden.

    • Ich fand es sehr passend. Aber wie kommt sowas in die Höhle des Löwen? :) Bewegen wir uns endlich?

    • Populistischer geht es wohl kaum. Schlimmer als die Bild!

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The Wall Street Journal & Breaking News, Business, Financial and Economic News, World News and Video
Search

EU Ministers Push for Action on Migrant Crisis

Germany, France and the U.K. pushed for a faster response in dealing with the continent’s migration crisis as Hungarian police detained a fifth person in connection with the deaths of 71 migrants found in a truck in Austria.

Striking Workers Block French Port

The labor dispute is preventing travelers from boarding ferries on both sides of the English Channel.

Abreast of the Market

Who Gains When Tumult Strikes?

Exchanges and market makers are getting a fresh look from portfolio managers seeking out investments likely to benefit from the large market swings.

Fed Appears to Hold Line on Rate Plan

Federal Reserve officials emerged from a week of head-spinning financial turbulence largely sticking to their plan to raise U.S. interest rates before the end of the year.

VW Is Told to Shed Suzuki Stake

An international court has ordered Volkswagen of Germany to sell its nearly 20% stake in Suzuki, allowing the Japanese auto maker to extricate itself from the tie-up after a four-year struggle.

The Outlook

U.S. Port Traffic Hinted at China Slowdown

Long before investors lost faith in the Chinese stock market, something seemed amiss at the ports of Long Beach and Los Angeles. The number of containers coming from China was up, but beginning in 2013, fewer were being sent in the other direction.

Eni Reports Natural Gas Discovery off Egypt

Eni SpA said it made a massive natural-gas discovery off the coast of Egypt in what the Italian oil-and-gas company is calling the largest ever find in the Mediterranean Sea.

Saudi-led Airstrike Kills 20 in Yemen

A Saudi-led air raid killed at least 20 workers at a factory in northern Yemen, a local official and a resident said, the latest carnage in the conflict between Yemeni rebels and forces allied with the country’s exiled president.

At Least 11 Die in Saudi Arabia Fire

A large fire at a residential compound of Saudi Arabia’s state-owned oil giant killed at least 11 people and injured more than 200, officials said. The cause of the fire was unknown.

Rice Condemns Pakistan-Based Militant Attacks in Afghanistan

U.S. national security adviser Susan Rice on Sunday told top civilian and military leaders in Islamabad that attacks in neighboring Afghanistan by Pakistan-based militants were “absolutely unacceptable,” according to a senior American official.

U.A.E. Takes Lead in Southern Yemen

U.A.E. forces prevented Houthi rebels in Yemen from overrunning the Yemeni port city of Aden, and now also reluctantly find themselves in the business of nation-building.

Egypt Rejects Criticism of Journalists’ Jail Sentences

Egypt’s foreign ministry rejected international criticism of a court’s decision to sentence a team of Al Jazeera journalists to three years in prison, summoning the British ambassador to Egypt for condemning the verdict.

China Places Cap on Local Government Debt

Chinese lawmakers have placed a $2.5 trillion cap on local government debt as Beijing looks for ways to address one of the major impediments to its economy.

Buying the Dips Doesn’t Work for Everyone

The old strategy of buying the dips may not work for everyone. In fact, for some people, it could be disastrous, writes Jason Zweig.

Ahead of the Tape

Insurers Could Use More Calamity

Low rates and a soft market have resulted in relatively lean times for Allstate and its insurer peers.

On the 10th anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, insurers are suffering from years of calm seas and low rates.

A Bentley, Secret Emails and a Credit-Card Antitrust Case. The Strange Life of Lawyer Keila Ravelo

When federal agents showed up at Keila Ravelo’s home three days before Christmas, they kicked off a chain of events that could send her to prison and scuttle the biggest antitrust settlement in U.S. history.

Suppliers Feel Pain as Coal Miners Struggle

As big coal miners struggle, their equipment suppliers—thousands of businesses sprinkled throughout Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Ohio and Kentucky—are scrambling to find new customers anywhere they can. 62

Ageas to Sell Hong Kong Life Insurance Business

Belgian insurance company Ageas said Sunday it will sell its Hong Kong Life insurance business to Chinese asset-management firm JD Capital for €1.23 billion.

Inmarsat Says Russian Proton Rocket Puts Satellite Into Orbit

Inmarsat declared the launch of a Russian Proton rocket carrying one of its satellites a success after the rocket delivered its cargo into its initial orbit position.

Rebekah Brooks to Return to News Corp

Rebekah Brooks is expected to head News Corp’s U.K. division, a position similar to one she resigned from amid the phone-hacking scandal. Separately, Britain’s Crown Prosecution Service is reviewing a police referral related to the hacking probe.

Hackers Are the New Wizards

Chuck Wendig’s “Zeroes” reminds us how interconnected we all are, with electronic links all the way down to our refrigerators and cars, all of them hackable.

World War II’s Greatest Escape

Allied prisoners broke out of a German camp using ladders inspired by medieval siege tools.

Stieg Larsson’s Heroine Lives Again

David Lagercrantz’s “The Girl in the Spider’s Web” revives Lisbeth Salander in fitting style.

The Real Roots of Russia’s Revolution

Before revolution was a ruinous war. What led Russia into the conflagration?

A Runaway Boy, a Theatrical Dynasty and a Cliffhanger

Brian Selznick’s ‘The Marvels’ is the latest in a loose trilogy including ‘Hugo’ and ‘Wonderstruck.’

Video

Body Count Rises in Migrant Effort to Reach Europe

1:38

Lebanese ‘Stink’ Protest Turns Toward Politicians

2:11

Buzz Aldrin Developing Plan to Colonize Mars

1:09